So I'm watching Idol and I just can't help myself. At least for posterity, and in case they are bored out of their minds, I'm continuing with the comments:
8:30-ish
First thing that stands out is that there is no guest judge. Jewel added minimally to yesterdays show, so I guess we're not missing much. The first contestant I see is Blake Lewis who does a great beat box, but he decides to do Seal's "Crazy." Not bad actually, but not outstanding. Good enough to get to Hollywood out of the dearth of "American Idol"-worthy talent that is Seattle.
8:47 pm
We come back and Ryan Seacrest steals my "'fill-in-the-blank-with-a-bad-thing' that is Seattle" line. We get a short montage of people pretty much yelling and doing some good impersonations of William Hung, with the likes of Michael Bustamante and David Mills.
That however leads to a brother and sister who wisely forego a "Donny and Marie" gimmick by auditioning separately.
First is the sister, Shyamali Malakar, who has a nice soft voice. And with two yeses (Simon doesn't actually say no, though) she's through to Hollywood. I think she's got a lot of potential because she's humble and cute... but she'll need to stand out to get far.
Next is her brother, Sanjaya Malakar. And he starts off by breaking my #1 American Idol rule: Never sing Stevie Wonder. Much like his sister though, he has a good voice, but he doesn't stand out because it's pretty darn hard to stand out singing Stevie Wonder. Otherwise, he's a lot like his sister.
9:00 pm
Back from the break: we start off with a software engineer, Nicholas Zitzmann, from Midvale, Utah who interestingly points out that Midvale is not only near the Salt Lake area but actually IN the Salt Lake area. He also likes to talk with his eyes closed, I think you can see where this is going. As Nick sings "Unchained Melody" he sways back and forth while staring at a spot about 10 feet above the judges. He's predictably awful, but they let him thoroughly butcher Simon's favorite song. Eventually, Simon stops him and says "What the bloody hell was that?" Rather depressingly Nick takes him seriously by answering, "It was me." Oh boy. Finally, following his exit interview which involved a strange interaction with Ryan Seacrest, in which they kinda silently stare at each other, Nick drops the great Forrest Gump line, "That's all I have to say about that."
9:07 pm
Rodolfo "Rudy" Cardenas finishes off day one by singing a tough, tough songs: "Open Arms" by Journey. He's okay, but he probably would have done better by picking an easier song to sing. Simon immediately says no, but Rudy is saved by yeses from Paula and Randy.
9:15 pm
Day 2 starts with news that Simon pummeled the Seattle contestants in the newspaper. And we get a few examples of why Simon said what he said: Up first is Kenneth Briggs who says he's like Justin Timberlake and Lance (Cindy tells me they're speaking of Lance from N'Snyc)... and he's not entirely tone deaf like some previous contestants but he's certainly terrible. At least he's got the boy band dancing straight. Simon stops him and drops the "massive eyes" comment which was in yesterdays teaser/preview. He continues by elaborating on the comment by calling him a bush baby... yesterday, I though he was talking about a tarsier.
Jonathan Jayne follows Kenneth and we get a glimpse of where this is headed when we hear his speaking voice. He sings "God Bless America" and although he doesn't miss every note, he's all over the place. They both leave without a much of a tantrum. Oh well we've got at least another half hour.
9:28 pm
Eric Chapman, a hairdresser who kinda sorta looks like Taylor Hicks, is up next and he entirely over does the Taylor Hicks/Soul Patrol thing. But unlike Taylor he's not AI material and he sings with an awful pained look on his face. Of course, he gets a chorus of nos and ooooh we get our first view of security as Eric is ushered out of the room after he heads for Simon with some hair gel... good times!
9:33 pm
At 6' 3", Anna Kearns, is up next singing the overdone classic "Respect." Of course, she doesn't really add anything to the song, but shes isn't not too bad. They might keep her because she can sing (although not outstandingly) and undoubtedly because of her height... and she's through without Simon's approval (but also without a "no" from our favorite judge).
9:42 pm
16 year old Jordin Sparks brings out of the break and she's pretty darn good. She's also guaranteed to get through because of the great voice and not just a combination of age and an okay voice (like a few other 16 year olds). Randy and Paula love her. Simon isn't as convinced, but she is off to Hollywood. Jordan even drops the fact that she is the daughter of former NFL cornerback Phillippi Duane Starks, making her this season's Nikko Smith. (Added after the show: while checking facts and finding links I found out that Jordin is already pretty well known. She even already has her own entry at Wikipedia)
9:46 pm
And finally we get the montage where they obviously asked everyone who auditioned to sing a particular song, even if they don't know it. This time it's the Pussycat Dolls' "Don't Cha." The perfect song for such a gimmick, but it's getting old, isn't it? They leave us by setting up a guy they dub "Big Red" for the last break.
9:53 pm
The last break is here and they introduce a red-headed fella wearing a bright red guayabera with red flames named Steven Thoen. In a falsetto/head voice he sings "Bohemian Rhapsody" while Paula and Randy just crack up. He eventually stops and says he sings country as well. Hmmm okay. As he leaves he seems very pissed and they play a Exorcist/Tubular Bells-like song... I wonder why?
And with that we're done! Next week: Memphis! The teaser/preview gives some hope for Elvis' town, including a short clip of a Scott Savol-like big man with a voice.
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