I spaced and forgot to Tivo last night's American Idol AND I almost forgot to do it today, which makes me miss the first 8 minutes of the show. So let's get to it:
We're in Charleston, SC (I learned this later) and I'm starting halfway through Randy (missed his last name) and Crystal Ortiz's audition. Auditioning Randy (to differentiate him from Judge Randy) sounds like a bad immitation of John Mayer. Crystal doesn't sound like anything specific. Simon though says it was a "complete torture." Not at all surprisingly they don't get through to Hollywood.
Next are brother and sister, Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin. They start off doing a "bow-chicka-wa-wa" thing, so its not looking good. Jeffrey reminds me of Nipsey Russell and he wore what look like snakeskin boots... you know for Randy. They start singing together and they're not as bad as you would think. They're not Hollywood material but they just might get 2 yeses (of 3) each because they're "interesting." Simon prefers Jeffrey over Michelle and Randy really liked Jeffrey (I guess I was totally off). And although it seemed like they'd get split, Simon ends up sending both to Hollywood. Like I said they probably got through more on charisma than singing ability, so my guess is they don't last long in Hollywood.
Coming back from commercials we get an update on Oliver Highman and his pregnant wife (I guess they were first introduced in the part that I missed) who appear to be on the way to the hospital. We then get treated to a a montage of really bad version of Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats." Of course since Idol has this new "Don't Be So Mean" philosophy, we just get a snippet of how bad these folks were. But at least we got to see a lady who kinda does a weird singing narration of the video.
Amy Catherine Flynn, a 16 year old cheerleader, is up and next and she's says her name is "Amy Catherine, AC, whatevs." Anyhoo, Simon gets her to go on a whole abstinence speech which Simon facetiously said he liked... okely dokely! So, anyways, she starts singing and she's good for a 16 year old, but her voice is just not developed enough. I guess she'll get through. Of course Paula likes her and gives her a yes. Simon says her song was "too big for her" and then adds "a lot of people are going to find you annoying." She reminds of the large number of people who do cover songs on Youtube. Simon says yes tho, making Randy's yes inconsequential. I just don't see how she should get through to the top 24 though.
Back from the break, and Oliver Highman (the guy whose wife went into labor) and his wife finally get to the hospital.
London Weidberg auditions next. She's a pretty face, but she has a strong speaking voice. She does Billie Holliday's "Good Morning Heartache" and she's pretty good, but a bit breathy. Not surprisingly she's through, I can see her definitely making the top 24, maybe even the top 12.
We're told 15 people made it through on day 1, and we're off for more commercials.
Airforce pilot Lindsey Goodman brings us back from the break. They give her a whole segment (where we get to see the C17 she flies) so I just can't see her not making it. She sings "Black Velvet"... not a song I like because it a little to simple. She's okay but nothing special. And surprisingly she doesn't make it. That continues another trend for this season in which they're showcasing a lot of people that could go either way. They're keeping us guessing.
Next is Aretha Codner, who decides to sing Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing." (And Cindy makes a good suggestion: Maybe I should make a Rule #1a of American Idol: Don't sing Whitney Houston to go along with my Rule #1 of American Idol: Never sing Stevie Wonder) Her voice has potential, but she picked a hard hard song and just didn't do it well enough. Simon calls her out on her "funny blue dress" and "big belt" even getting Paula to whisper "stop." And then surprisingly Simon says the singing was terrible. I wouldn't call it terrible, though. Maybe "common" but not terrible. And Wow, even Paula gives a her No. She thinks she can sing and keeps arguing her case as she leaves.
Joshua Boson wearing bright red pants is up doing "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" which strangely reminds of Jake Gyllenhaal's Saturday Night Live version. You just have to see it. Simon is nice when he says "It wasn't a good audition." Apparently, though, Joshua thinks he can sing and he starts getting agitated. At least he's smart enough to realize he isn't making it and he walks out in the middle of Paula's review. But don't worry he's not looking to be the next American Idol, he's going for "World Idol." Good luck with that!
Tara Smith's "no" audition leads to a bunch of Nos including someone Randy called a "Disney character" and someone Randy said "sounded like a chipmunk." But of course we don't get to actually hear Randy say these things (the auditioners said these things) since this is a kinder, gentler American Idol. Can you tell I'm bitter?
New father Oliver Highman is finally ready to audition and he immediately reminds me of Taylor Hicks. And he's not bad, but he way over does the vibrato thing. Simon says the warbling is too much. And yet another no. Although it's not surprising that he got a no, it's surprising that we keep seeing a bunch of tweener "nos."
And then all of a sudden my Tivo recording is done! So I guess that's it for Charleston which apparently didn't yield too many Hollywood bound contestants.
So what have we learned from this seasons American Idol: We aren't going to see the really crazy people or the judges reaction to them AND we're seeing a lot of tweeners where you just don't know if they're making it through or not. I like the latter but not the former.... I guess you can't win em all.
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