Return of the Idol: American Idol Season 7 (Part 1)

Ahhhhh, a new year and a new American Idol. Really, what did we do before the internet and American Idol. Do you even remember?

Well here we are at Superjuan Central, starting to watch a Tivo delayed debut of American Idol. (On delay becuase I had to watch the Caps beat the Ottawa Senators 4-2.) Anyways, since we're already delayed, lets get to it:

We start out in beautiful Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. A town I like, and a town I expect to get some good contestants... and by good I mean actually good singers and insane people.

Our first contestant is Joey Catalano, a young guy who lost a bunch of weight. Before singing he strikes me as a "Scott Savol"-type if Savol lost some weight. He's got a good speaking voice. He starts singing and it's pretty good. A little too breathy for me but he should get through. And he gets 3 yes's and is through to Hollywood.

Next we have a guy (Alaa "Youka" Youakeem) who "can't stop love America music." Looking good already. "I wanna love a girl from... from the hair to the nipple." Right. Anyways, Youka reminds me of Borat, so take a guess as to where this is headed. His rendition of "Mr. Bee Gee's How Deep is Your Love" was... well interesting. Of course he gets three no's.

Melanie Nyema, who was a backup singer for Taylor Hicks, is next. And she's not bad. I agree with Simon's assessment of "I'm completely neither there or there." She's through though.

Next we have James Lewis, a Philly tour guide who admits to having a "unique voice." That just can't be good. And it isn't.... it really isn't. He sounds like the complete opposite of one of the Chimpmunks. Really, really low pitched, like an extended singing yawn. I don't think I need to tell you what happened.

We come back from a break to bunch of bad singers followed by Junot Joyner from Bowie, MD. Well, I've got my first favorite, because he's from Maryland and he can sing. Of course he's through.

Junot is followed by a couple of good singers going through.

16 year old Temptress Brown, a female middle linebacker, is next. It's a "heartwarming" story with her mom in a wheelchair at the auditions to cheer her on. Sadly, she has mediocre voice. She's definitely not Hollywood material, and Simon tells her about as nicely as you could expect from Simon. Wow... that was a downer. At least Simon wasn't mean. Things finish a bit more on the upside when all three judges walk her out to her family to help her tell them the news that she wasn't through to Hollywood. And we're off to a break.

We're back with a guy who does a "cricket" sound and sings a little strangely. Following his strange audition we have Udgeet "Udi" Sampat who supposedly sounds like Barry Manilow or Frank Sinatra. Who much like the "cricket guy" seems to talk through his audition of "My Way." Simon tells him that he was "tuneless" and he asks for an explanation... and I think I've found it.

Next we get treated to the medley AI producers make by asking everyone to sing the same song. This time it's "I love Rock and Roll." We get glimpses of a few characters, including an Angel and a 50s style Army Girl Trio. I get the feeling we're not going to see as many crazy folk today, since a lot of them seem to be in this medley. And we're back to commercials.

Alexis Cohen, who looks like someone threw a tub of glitter on her, is next. We know she's not making it since every tease leading up to this has her eventually going ape doo doo. She pretty much yells her entire audition. She's not entirely horrible, but she's definitely not good enough. She leaves somewhat mad, and gradually gets worse and worse. Don't worry though since she says she's going into "actressing."

Well, we're half way through today's show so I'm cutting it of here. I'll start a new commentary for the second hour... right now!